I've been asked this question many times this week by the people that I work with at school. Immediately I went defensive and was like, "What is that supposed to mean?" Evidentally I don't give off the pastor's wife persona so it got me thinking of course as to what a pastor's wife should be. I would love to know your thoughts out there.
To be honest with you, I don't really think I am the prim and proper pastor's wife who is always dressed up. I don't play a musical instrument or sing, and I don't have a lot Bible verses memorized. I can't name every character in the Bible or offer tons of great wisdom.
But what I am is real. I like to talk! I love to listen to people's stories and offer a shoulder to cry on. I also wear my heart and my mind on sleeve, and I'm not real good at keeping secrets (I'm an open book really!) I do have a weakness for gossip, which I'm working on though. I care about people and I care about their salvation. I want them to know Christ and I would more than happy, I would be estatic to help them become closer to Him.
I'm really worried now about how does my life reflect Christ. Do they think I couldn't be a pastor's wife because of my actions? I know I complain, I know I raise my voice, and I know that sometimes I may say ugly things but I'm just being real. I love the Lord with all my heart and I love that the Lord has called us to the ministry but I'm worried as to what I am doing to promote the kingdom. I mean one colleuge even said to me, "You might want to go ahead and tell Jeremy to find a new wife before he tries to get a job." I MEAN WHAT IN THE WORLD?! (Ok I have to be rational here and realize that some of these people are not believers so I have to take it with a grain of salt. )
I am excited about supporting my husband in his role as a pastor. I want to be a woman that the church feels like they can turn to for support and guidance. I want them to know that I care for them and I am there to love on them and help them further the kingdom. I just want to be real!
3 comments:
"I know I complain, I know I raise my voice, and I know that sometimes I may say ugly things but I'm just being real."
I would say be careful with that statement..."being real" is an awfully tricky thing (whew, I know a bit about that), and once you've got it down, it shouldn't be used as an excuse not to change anything about yourself. If you're worried about doing these things and looking bad in front of others...
1. first of all, appearance shouldn't matter. I don't think it should be "how does my life reflect Christ" as much as "how focused on Christ am I right now." (that's from Oswald Chambers)
2. You obviously already know your weaknesses, and given your future role I would say patience and LOVE are definitely things to strive for. As I learned at camp, the stuff that people recieve from you is only because your cup is overflowing from God.
Everyone needs a cool female role model, and I hope God takes you that direction. Prayin! :)
I think you will make a wonderful pastor's wife. I don't know what is wrong with those people. I don't know what they think of when they think "pastor's wife" but whatever misconceptions they have (ie. that a pastor's wife is this sweet soft-spoken, musical-intrument-playing, perfect woman who has the whole Bible memorized) that is their mistake and you shouldn't let them make you feel inadequate. I am so angry right now. Who would say such a rude, hurtful thing "You might want to go ahead and tell Jeremy to find a new wife before he tries to get a job." ARGH! Jeremy knew what an amazing woman you were when he married you and God knows exactly what he is calling you to. He will equip you with exactly what you need. I can understand your concern about why people would question your ability to be a pastor's wife, but it is probably more about their misconceptions than you being a bad witness or anything. The people you work with probably just know you aren't perfect. As Josh said, it's good that you know your weaknesses and are working on them. I certainly know my weaknesses and I question my ability to be a teacher and a leader in the church. I think the most important thing is that you truly love God with all your heart, love people, and seek to see the lost brought to Christ. Luckily for us, God uses all kinds of people to achieve His purposes and represent Him in key roles. I think He will do great things through you! I wanted to talk to you online but for the first time that I remember, you're not online!
So I take it Jeremy is applying for jobs now? Or will be soon?
I couldn't have said it better!! You are one of the most genuine people I know. You always listen with all your heart and make sure to be honest and reflective when you give advice. Being a pastors wife isn't about all those things its about being real and showing people God's love. I know that people have this idea of what a pastors wife should be life but to be honest I think you will be the best pastor's wife I know! Don't let peopple doubt your ability because they are winning and they want to feel better. Just be true and know as Lisa said God will provide you all the tools and skills you need to become the best pastors wife you can be! I am so proud of you and know I love you both and think about you guys all the time! :)
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