Isaiah 55:6

"Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near;"

I read this verse during my quiet time today and it just really struck me. What am I doing on a daily basis to seek the Lord? I feel like sometimes I get so stuck on my head knowledge of who God is that I forget that I still need that personal heart knowledge of Him. Do I seek Him on a daily basis? Do I look to know His character like I look to know others personally? The Lord has really convicted me lately that I seek joy and satisfaction in the things of this world rather than in Him... only later to find out that none of those can bring me true satisfaction (which I knew to begin with but still tried). That brings me to my other train of thought...

Does my life radiate the love the Lord? Do I radiate the joy He brings in my life? Am I experiencing the full joy that He brings for that matter? Sadly, I do not feel like. Joy is not based on circumstantial things and I know that I have an everlasting joy from the Lord that is not based on emotions. So many times I rely on my emotions to determine how much joy I have. Philippians 4:4 says to rejoice in the Lord always and that is something that I really need to work on. One thing that I desire most is that my life would lead others to Christ no matter the circumstance.

The best of intentions...

It seems like lately I have the best of intentions to do a lot of things and yet I always fall short. For the last two weeks, I have intended to spend more time in the Word and in prayer and then (like always) I find many other things to occupy my time. I also had all intentions to call some old friends, keep the house clean, stay on top of paper work, prepare for Bible study...the list really just goes on.

Where does my time go? Where are my priorities? Why is it that I can see what I need to do but yet choose to different? Always the best of intentions....

The 10 Commandments: Broken

A question to all you out there...How well do you feel like you uphold the 10 commandments? If you thought like I did you probably are saying, I do pretty well...I mean I don't commit adultery, murder, or steal... Today at church, JD's sermon was on rebellion and how people run away from God. He had a checklist printed for us and asked us to be honest with ourselves. As he read through the commandments (including explanation for each of them) I realize how much of a stinky sinner I am. I have never killed a person but I have taken the slightest pleasure in seeing harm done to someone. I have never stolen any material possessions but I have taken credit for something that was not mine. I try to honor my parents but I have disobeyed them one time or another. Though I am believer of Jesus Christ and believe in one true God, I have put other idols in my life that have given God-like status to.

After JD read the checklist, I realized that I have broken every commandments and continue to do so some days without even blinking an eye. Though we all try to do good, we inevitably are sinners. We were born sinners with an evil heart. But luckily there is good news and Jesus came to give us a new heart. Today I am so overwhelmed by the grace that God has given me. I continue to sin daily and He continues to forgive me daily. Who am I that He would love me so much and why do I forget that so often? I take the Lord's grace and mercy for grant so much. I think today was a definite reality check in the fact that I need to be more self-conscious of my actions.

On that same note, the Lord has been convicting me of the idols I have put in my life. Lately the computer has become an idol. As Stefanie pointed out one day, I am addicted to the internet...i.e. email, IM, facebook, blog reading. It has seriously become an addiction in where it is all I want to do. I come in the door and immediately want to get on. I spend more time on the computer than I do reading my Bible or praying. Stef says I need Internet Anononymous and while I laughed when she said it...I beginning to realize the truth in it. I really do have to get away from the computer, so this week I'm making a point to stay off the computer. We'll see how well it goes but for now I leave you with this.....the Lord is good, gracious, and forgiving more than I will ever fully fully comprehend this side of Heaven.

I want to go back...

Yesterday I had the privilege to spend the afternoon back in Chapel Hill to watch some Carolina football. Thanks to Daddy dearest, Jeremy and I have the honor to attend all the home football games (Except for J didn't go yesterday but that's a different story).

Ok I digressed, anywho...yesterday when we drove into town I realized how much the place has changed in 2 years. First there were like 5 additional dorms down on south campus making the skyline look completely different. Walking around inside the stadium, I soon realized that I didn't recognize the faces around me. Am I really that far removed?

As I sat watching the game and observing the students, I thought about my years at Carolina and how I missed them so much. It's amazing how fast those 4 years went and now how much I really wish I could go back. I know I could go back and do graduate work but it would not be the same. The people would be different, heck I'm different. It's amazing to see how much I've changed since I left there. I'm now in mid 20s, married, and a teacher. Most of my friends are pregnant these days or thinking about it. Some days I feel so old..and I'm only 24. Where the heck is the time going?

My day in CH this weekend really helped me to see that I need to slow down and enjoy the stage I'm in. I'm always so ready to move on but I need to enjoy where the Lord has me now. But still.....I don't want to grow up...

Can you teach common sense?

I really wish you could because today my 3rd graders needed it. I also wish I could teach them to open their ears because I swear I said the same the thing about 50x today. Why is that a 4 day week seems like 8?

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Many of you know...I get bored easily. I'm always looking to change something whether it be the arrangement of the living room or my hair cut. Well now the blog needed a facelift so TA-DA a new look. It's still a work in progress so don't judge it quite yet...but suggestions are welcomed. :)Happy Friday

What a difference a school makes..

Like every good teacher is supposed to do, I sat back today to reflect on how the school year as been going so far. With 5 days under my belt, it is amazing the difference a school makes. I have a different attitude and a whole new outlook on the profession. This time last year I was already stressed counting down the days until the year would be over. I had IB, IEP, and ADD (love the alphabet soup, uh?) up to my ears and was seriously swimming. Today I feel very refreshed and loving my kids and the profession. My kids are polite, cooperative, and ready to learn. I am a much better teacher b/c I am actually getting to teach rather than spending my whole day solving conflicts. Don't get me wrong...all sets of children have thier challenges but I just feel like I can breathe this year.