Dotcox

I have no title for the post because I'm not even sure what to call it. What a day!

Recently the Lord has been teaching me how much I try to do things on my own without His help. Through JD's sermon on Sunday, my Bible study on Monday, and the love ones in my life I really feel like the Lord has been telling me that the reason I feel so burdened is that I don't come to Him. I haven't been praying and when I do pray it's almost like asking a genie to grant my wishes. I haven't cast my burdens on Him and ask for His strength, wisdom, or guidance.

This being said, I am trying to apply what I have been learning and the Lord gave me a real test today. This morning, our whole team had a meeting so they got subs to cover our classes. I pick my kids up from lunch and they are already wound up and arguing with one another. Great, I think to myself. The day continues to go downhill from there as the kids are unmotivated to work, being disrespectful to me and their peers, and super talkative. By 2, when my worse student returned from a specialist, I was already in foul mood. This student came in loud and obnxious, not liking what I had to say, yelled and threw a book at the wall. I then hit my breaking point. All the frustration with this group finally came to a head. As I was giving them, a "be respectful" lecture, the tears were starting to form. My assistant happened to walk by room as this point and I walked out in tears. I walked down to the principal's office and just broke down. I ended up staying in there for 45 minutes trying to come up with strategies with her. She did call that student down and chewed him out for being disrespectful to me constantly and told him the next time she had to talk to him he would be suspended. (He should have been long time ago but that's another story.)

I listened to her suggestions and will try to apply them but I guess I'm just so frustrated. Will you please pray for me? Also please pray for Jeremy and I are traveling to Charlotte this weekend for an interview with a church. Pray that the Lord would give us direction and wisdom.