Behavior Management

For the most part, this blog has been light-hearted and just about surface things. Today however it is not. I am going to be very open and honest in this post and reveal my inadequacies. It's not easy...

This year of teaching by far as been my hardest. I have always struggled with behavior management because I have tried to show my kids love and compassion especially since many of them do not get it at home. In my hopes of doing this, I usually stick myself in the foot by not being consistent or stern enough with the kids. This has hurt me this year more than any other year as I have a couple of really hard kids.

Evidently the administration of my school has taken note of this and have spoken to me about it. With final evaluations coming up, I was given a letter that stated I need to change my ways or my evaluation would reflect it. Needless to say, I was very upset. Many times this year, I have asked for help (at the point of tears most of the time, which later on I figured out that the pregnancy hormones were also to blame!). They offered suggestions and I took them back to the classroom, but many of them were not concrete ways to make a huge difference.

So when the letter came, detailing all my faults, I was rather taken back. I went to both administrator to discuss it with them, which left me feeling like failure as a teacher. They discussed the amount of discipline issues and office referrals these 3 children had this year compared to last year and they felt like if they had been with a strong disciplinarian then they would have been more successful. They also said they had been there to help me and they had offered me workshops and assistance. They also told me that I needed to show significant growth before final evaluations or I would be put on a sort of probation next school year. WHAT IN THE WORLD!? Of course, I cried and began to worry as to what this would mean to my teaching career. My assistant principal was worried that it may affect me receiving tenure this year. Also this letter was now to be put in my HR file in the county office for every future principal to see. I was devastated. What a way to start Spring Break, uh?

To this day, I still feel as though I being treated unfairly. These children are very difficulty and have emotional issues that stem outside of the classroom. All 3 were referred to the counselor for anger management and two of them have outside assistance for the behavior. They get in trouble in other classes, like specials, but yet it is my fault. Second, the administration has been in my class, once, maybe twice. Both of my observations this year have been with my math class, who are a collection of kids from each 3rd grade homeroom. The only picture they have of my class has been what I have told them or what they have observed in the hallway. I know that I am to blame for some of it. I know that I haven't been as consistent with them as I could have been. I didn't demand respect from them or out of them in the beginning of the year like I should have, and now it's biting me in the butt. But still... Everyone else who interacts with these kids during the day, know what I am up against. Even one of my parents, sees it when she comes in on a weekly basis. I just don't know what to do.

The administration has now sent in a behavior specialist in the county to come and help me, because that's how big they think the problem has become. The specialist is an incredibly kind and helpful guy, who has been very encouraging to me. He has observed in my class and feels like I am doing much better than they give me credit for. He thinks that the letter is ridiculous and wrote something on my behalf. He has come in a couple more times to observe and meet with me and every time he is very complimentary. I feel good about his comments, seeing how he goes all over the county to help teachers.

Yesterday I found out that my final evaluation is this coming Friday, just two school weeks since receiving the letter. Originally I was told it would be towards the beginning of May. I ask you...how can you show significant growth in two weeks? I am afraid to ask anything about it in fear that they have already made up their mind on me. When I asked my peers for advice, they said I should refuse to sign the evaluation until they give me more time and actually come and observe in the classroom. The behavior specialist is very optimistic and thinks that there is no way they will mark me down on my final, but I on the other hand, am not.

Will you please pray over this situation? Please pray that I would be respectful to my superiors even though I feel like I am being treated unfairly. Pray that my new strategies will be effective and make a huge difference in the class. Pray also that I would be able to form relationships with these boys that would help them respect me more. Pray also that I would put my full trust in the Lord with this situation. It is all in His Hands and I need His strength and wisdom to make it through.

(Thanks for reading all the way to the end...I know it was long!)